Going through a fight with your spouse can be hard for a number of different reasons. These 5 ways to talk to your spouse after a fight will help you along the way in trying to make peace with your spouse. Of course, everyone is different, and these may not work for everyone.
1. First of all, make sure they are ready to talk
A lot of times in relationships, a fight can happen for the smallest reason, simply because one or both of you are in a bad mood or are having a bad day. It is very important to make sure that you are both ready to talk about what took place.
If someone isn’t ready to talk about something, it can be very hard to get through to them and would just be like talking to a brick wall. It is best to wait it out, let things sink in, and then talk when both parties are ready to deal with the issue at hand.
2. Speak your mind, don’t keep things bottled up
If there is additional information or reasons behind that fight, air them out and let them be known. Your spouse can’t read your mind, so it is of the utmost importance that you explain in detail what went wrong, and some potential steps how to fix it.
If you keep certain things hidden or bottled up, the “make-up” is only temporary, because those problems that you ducked deeply away, are likely to remerge at some point. Speaking out like that is difficult for some, but you just need to realize that a bit of toughness in the short run, can lead to a lot of growth and healing in the long run.
3. Don’t give in
There is nothing worse you can do than to simply give in and say the problem is fixed when it really isn’t. Oftentimes, one person in a relationship absolutely hates conflict and will just give up and say everything is all better, simply to make their partner happy. This is not good at all as it doesn’t even address the issue; it just pushes it back in your mind and allows it to continue to get worse and worse the more you think about it.
In the long run, this doesn’t help anyone. While this may keep the peace in the short term, it will gradually chip away at your happiness, and also the strength of the relationship. If you simply give in to your spouse’s needs or views all the time, it will be emotionally exhausting for you, while your partner has no idea that you are feeling the way you are.
4. Don’t be stubborn and get fixated on “winning”
This is something that happens all too much in the world today. A lot of us are stubborn, and don’t want to “lose” an argument with our spouse. This is the completely wrong way to look at it. A problem can never get fixed if both parties are just worried about getting the last word or making sure that their ideas win over their partners. If people fight like this, they are not attacking the central issue at all; they are simply attacking the views of the other person.
When talking to your spouse after a fight, you need to be humble, and need to work together to find a compromise that works for both of you. Speaking rationally and not letting emotions get in the way is also key in situations like this.
5. See things from their point of view
And without a doubt, the best way to talk with your spouse after a fight or argument is to put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their point of view. If you are able to empathize with them and understand why they feel the way they do, that can go an extremely long way in you being able to fix and rectify the problem.
It may be difficult to do, but there is no better way to make up after a relationship than to take some time, see things from their point of view and then go talk to them from that point of view. If couples were more willing to take the time and truly put themselves in their partner’s shoes after a fight, there would be less bad relationships and less breakups.